“Wives, likewise,
be submissive
Lest wives who have just become Christians feel they are exempt from submitting to their pagan husbands, Peter clearly defines her role in marriage. When the wife arranges her life to respect her husband’s leadership in the home, she does her part to bring harmony to the home. We will study the husband’s role later.
The Bible deals with the submission of the wife in other passages (cf.
Ephesians 5:22 ;Colossians 3:18 ). God has a divinely-willed order for the wife in marriage. The role of submission is an issue of position, not person.The Greek indicates that the wife is to develop a mind-set (present tense) of arranging herself under her husband’s leadership in the home. After promising in her marriage vows to orient herself to the leadership of her husband, a wife needs to develop a habit of this. This is a life-time principle.
The Greek also indicates that the woman benefits by fulfilling her role in marriage (middle voice). The woman who arranges her life under the leadership of her husband benefits personally. Instead of nagging him, she helps him excel. Instead of discouraging him through constant criticism, she helps him succeed in his leadership of the home. She benefits from this because she will have a happy husband and home.
The problem in marital conflict is that one or the other breaks out of their role. God designed the husband to meet his wife’s need and the wife to meet her husband’s need. If someone breaks out of this design the marriage relationship breaks down. The woman can derive her basic need from God and God’s Word, but it is normal for the husband to meet her need as well.
The biblical view of submission is an expression of rapport. She has something to yield - her mind and body. She has something beyond description to give to her husband
In Christian marriage love is the basis for rapport. Rapport means there is appreciation for each other. That is why we should never marry out of pressure or because a guy says all the right things and impresses a gal. He appears as a knight in shinning armor, when really he is a monster.
The principle in the New Testament exhortation to submit is that there should be mutual readiness to renounce one’s own will for others.
Principle:
Marriage roles are designed to mutually meet the needs of the husband and wife.
Application:
What happens if the husband takes advantage of his wife’s submission? It subverts the delicate balance of the relationship of each role. Some men feel that the biblical role of the wife gives them the right to abuse their wife. “OK, wife, I’m giving you 15 things to do today. Make sure you have them finished before I get home from work.” This detracts from the dignity of his wife. Peter will address this in 3:7. God expects the husband to honor his wife.
Women, if you want your basic need as a wife met, then meet your husband’s need as well. Peter will explain how to do that in succeeding verses. We can summarize his advice in two words - “inner beauty.” This is a relaxed attitude. Hostilities cease. She becomes so relaxed toward her husband that he sees a beautiful being inside her.
When there is little rapport between husband and wife, roles do not work well. Where there is no love in marriage, marriage becomes a master/slave relationship. When there is true rapport, roles work well. Marriage will survive physical changes as the couple grows older. As the compatibility becomes stronger, so will the marriage. Compatibility takes up the slack for everything that might happen to the marriage.
Every couple has problems adjusting to marriage. The real problem in adjusting is not sex, housekeeping or money. These are details. The real adjustment is whether the man meets the basic need of his wife. It does not matter whether she burns the biscuits. He still loves her. It makes no difference whether she cannot balance the checking account or forgets to change the oil in the car. He still loves her. These things may be fun to joke about but they should in no way destroy the rapport of the marriage.
When genuine love exists, then a wife will willingly surrender her volition to her husband and he will fulfil her soul. This is why in the selection of a husband, he cannot be a status symbol, an escape hatch or a meal ticket.
0 Responses to “1 Peter 3:1d”