When they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
Verses 2-6 shows the wife the kind of behavior that wins her husband.
When they observe your chaste conduct
When non-Christian husbands witness the powerful testimony of their wife’s pure life, it will thaw even an icy heart. The wife is to do this without being preachy (v.1).
“Observe” — even the hard-hearted husband will pay attention to a pure life. Observe means to intensely investigate. The close husband-wife relationship will reveal the reality of Jesus Christ in the pressures of marriage. The husband cannot miss what his wife is truly about. He cannot overlook the impact salvation made on her life.
As soon as the husband sees for himself the reality of Christ in his wife’s life, he will have the greatest opportunity to accept Christ. He may not listen to her verbal witness but he will observe her life. He looks, not listens. He waits to see if there is a change.
“Chaste” simply means pure. It may carry the idea of blameless in this verse. This is purity in the broadest sense, not just sexual purity. It should permeate everything the wife does. Her husband observes every decision she makes, every action she takes with her children.
Principle:
Non-Christian husbands will judge Jesus by their wives.
Application:
The husband largely configures his view of Christ by what he sees in his wife. He judges Christ by the way he sees his wife living. If his wife has a sharp tongue, a yen for gossip or an uncontrollable temper, that is his view the Christian life.
By putting church work before their husbands, some Christian wives cause their husbands to view the church as a rival lover. Love your husband out of joy and put him before church responsibilities.
Other wives unintentionally act superior to their husbands when they become Christians. This is deadly. The husband may feel he has little in common with his wife. He may infer he is no longer important to her or that she does not love him.
The picture here is of a mature woman who, in the face of adversity from her husband, stands independent. Even though he may treat her poorly she does not interfere with the Lord’s work in his heart by complaining. The following verses show what wins a husband — inner beauty.
The husband will respect his wife’s testimony. He will watch to see if there is any change in her life. Is she just as short tempered as she always was? Is she still as critical as she was? Does she nag like she used to? If this is true, what kind of salvation is that? He does not want it.
Incompatibility of belief does not justify dissolution of marriage. God designs marriage as a symbiotic relationship. Marriage is a delicate relationship balance. Both husband and wife contribute to that balance even though they may not share the same faith.
This verse does not argue that the onus for the marriage relationship rests on the wife. She does not simply exist to meet the needs of her husband nor is she to subsume her mind, opinions or dreams so that she is nothing outside her husband. The Bible does not ask the wife to live vicariously through her husband, but to reach the potential God designed for her.
Many husbands, like bloodsuckers, drain their wives of everything. They render little in return. Some husbands feel there is inherent superiority in their role. The Bible argues for authority of position, not person. Christianity argues for mutuality in marriage, not individuality. Individuality is the central thesis of much modern thinking about marriage.
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