Monthly Archive for August, 1997

Page 2 of 4

1 Peter 3:5b

Published on August 22, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
Read Introduction to 1 Peter

 

“For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.”
 
 
also adorned themselves,
 
Peter now specifies what he means by adornment. The point is not physical adorning here. They adorned themselves in their person. However, neither does Peter put value on poor grooming. Some women feel that if their hair looks like the worst end of the mop that this is spirituality! They wonder why their husbands look at other women. 
 
The Greek tense indicates that these women were accustomed to adorning themselves this way. 
 
PRINCIPLE: A good relationship finds its foundation in personal maturity.
 
APPLICATION: Women who see a man with sex appeal and jump at him on a wave of libido make a big mistake. They will live in a vacuum. Very few women run down to the department store and pick out the first dress they see. No, they get a good picture of how it looks on them. Why should a woman jump at the first man she sees?
 
A woman with good sense does not fall for the fast line. She does not fall for clucking noises. Everyone has strong points and weak points. This is true with everyone that walks on two legs. Everyone has points of strength and points of weakness. The woman who only sees strong points is vulnerable to the strong line. He may be very unstable. She will not find the truth until it is too late. 
 
Maturity sees both weak points and strong points. She can see the balance and love him in the face of the true reality of where he is. True love has its eyes open. Love does not depend on the other person either. Mature love loves out one’s own capacity to love. 
 
A mature woman is not in a hurry to become married. First, toward herself, she needs to build up norms so she has mature judgment about people. Second, she can distinguish a cluck from a mature man. How many women who wear a size 9 dress would buy a dress size 16, or 6? Why would you marry a man who is size 16, or 6? Choosing a man is far more important than choosing a dress. 
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1 Peter 3:5

Published on August 21, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
Read Introduction to 1 Peter

 

“For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.”
 
 
For in this manner,
 
“This manner” – in the manner of the woman who in her inner disposition has in-wrought grace and is settled in her soul.
 
in former times,
 
“Former times” is Old Testament times. Women do not change. Styles may change but the soul of the woman does not change. 
 
the holy women
 
“Holy women” is just a term for Old Testament women who believed in God. This woman has no halo over her head. 
 
who trusted in God
 
“Trusted” means placed her hope in God. The issue here is more one of confidence. God was the object of their hope. These women had a sense of awe of God. 
 
Women who know God personally and respond to his Word have the aperture of their souls open to him. Because they know how to respond to God, they know how to respond to their husband’s needs. 
 
PRINCIPLE: God designed Christian marriage cyclically so that each partner meets the needs of the other partner. 
 
APPLICATION: Many people come to a deadly truce in their marriage. They live under the same roof. They disarm their weapons for fighting relationship wars. They do not argue anymore.  Each goes their his own way and each lives his own life. Neither fulfills the other. 
 
Other marriages live in deadly cycles. Joe Husband comes home from work. He has had a bad day. He is tired. His wife meets him at the door but he wants nothing to do with her. She says, “All I tried to do was to kiss you.” He says, “Get away. I don’t want to be bothered. I have had enough of people today.” She says, “OK, I can understand that.” He sits down to read the paper but the sport’s page is missing. She used the sport’s page to wrap garbage with it. He then goes on his petty tirade about not touching the sports page. “Do what you will with the woman’s page or the want ads but never touch my sport’s page.” She is about to explode but she bottles her anger. They sit down to eat but because of this tension she overcooks the meal. He says, “What kind of garbage is this? I did not ask for a Burnt Offering.” This is all she can take. They spend the whole evening arguing until they reach a stage where neither says anything to the other. Silence goes on for a few days until they forget about it until the cycle starts over again.
 
What should the wife do to avoid something like this? All of the descriptions of the husband were overt. He growled at the door when he came home. He complained about the sport’s page and the meal. If all she sees is the surface she cannot meet his need. If she would have asked about his day at the right timing the result may have been different. Maybe his boss reprimanded him for something. Not only that but his coach dropped him from the baseball team because he was not good enough. All she sees is the growl. If she was mature and could see beyond his immaturity she could step into his essential need. She can let the superficialities fly by her because she knows him. She can step into the interior of his life. 
 
This understanding does not come over night. It takes months and years to discover your husband’s needs. This is more than talk. This is communication. This is more than an understanding of what he likes for a meal. It is an understanding of what is most important to him. Many women married for 20 years still do not know their husband’s essential needs. They have their own construct as to what his needs are. 
 
She forms this construct based on her own needs. Her whole life centers on her own problems. She simply sees her own problems because her husband does not treat her right.  She lets self-pity drive her relationship with her husband. Maybe the reason her husband does not treat her right is because she does not take the time to find out what he is all about. 
 
Every man is different and unique. There is no categorization that covers all men. We cannot put every man into the same category. If a woman drags her dad into her relationship with her husband she commits a deadly error. “My dad did it this way and you are doing it that way.” “My dad was horrible and therefore you are a monster.” Each man is different and his wife must understand him for who he is and not some imposed construct of what she thinks he might be. 
 
Some of you may say that “It is too late for me. I am already married to the wrong man.” There is hope for there is the ingredient known as the grace of God. If a woman operates on the grace of God she can change her situation. 
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1 Peter 3:4e

Published on August 20, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
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“Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
 
 
which is very precious in the sight of God
 
 “In the sight of God” means in what God values. God honors a woman who is orients to grace and is settled in her soul. God values a woman who is beautiful on the inside. 
 
PRINCIPLE: A benefit of a “gentle” and “quiet” spirit in a wife is that she beautifies her soul in the eyes of her husband and God. 
 
APPLICATION: Are you a beautiful woman on the inside? Does your husband view you as beautiful on the inside? This is the essence of submission. Submission is no cringing, mousy woman who is afraid of her own shadow. 
 
If a wife is not beautiful on the inside woman she is not in the will of God. It makes no difference how much work she may do in the local church she is not in the will of God. If you are a raging, horrible, ugly woman in the inside, then your work amounts to little before God.
 
Anything that God highly values should be highly desirable to us. A woman like this is valuable to God. She is also valuable to her husband. Her non-Christian husband has never seen anything like this before. 
 
The woman who tries to make a fool of her husband in front of others makes a big mistake. This will send him packing to the golf links every day. A vindictive woman will cause him to stop at the local pub for a couple of bourbons every day.
 
A woman who understands her biblical role pleases her husband. She will go so some of the places he likes. She may learn something about football. She will change many of her friends caught up in the same narcissism that she had. She will develop a new appreciation for sex based on love. She operates on compatibility rather than self-orientation.
 
Are you quick on the verbal trigger? Then you are an ugly soul. No amount of jewelry, no hair-dresser, no dress will make up for that. 
 
God’s method for the wife to win her non-Christian husband, or her Christian husband for that manner, is to change her attitudes from negative to positive. Many women deck themselves in richly looking wardrobes but keep their inner person clothed in rags. Fur-bearing animals produces their beautiful fur from the inside. The Christian woman should depend upon the adornment from within – her spiritual life.
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1 Peter 3:4d

Published on August 19, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
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“Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
 
 
and quiet spirit,
 
“Spirit” means disposition or attitude in this verse. This wife grounds herself in the principles of grace. She understands what God has done for her therefore she is serene and tranquil. She is at peace in herself, in her disposition.
 
A quiet spirit is a calm spirit. She is peaceful in her attitude. She is not full of hostility. This wife is settled on the inside. She possesses a serenity of soul even though her husband is a jerk. 
 
Again, this word does not imply that this woman sits behind the scenes afraid to speak. She may be very gregarious yet she is quiet on the inside. She is settled in her soul. She does not rage because of her insecurities. No military campaign wars inside her soul. She has a sense of fulfillment and satisfied with God’s plan for her life. There is no raging sea inside her. Therefore, this has nothing to do with speech or talk.
 
PRINICPLE: A beautiful woman is at rest on the inside.
 
APPLICATION: We all know some men who would love to have a mouse rather than a woman for a wife. They do not want her to talk in public. This is contrary to Scripture. 
 
The Word of God argues in the word “quiet” for the wife to be minus nagging, complaining. God wants a woman with a relaxed attitude – at rest; at peace within herself. This is God’s perception of a beautiful woman.
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1 Peter 3:4c

Published on August 18, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
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“Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”
 
 
of a gentle
 
Peter now prescribes the true ornaments of the soul of a beautiful woman: gentleness and a quiet spirit. 
 
A “gentle” person is not a wimp. This woman is not mousy or whiny. She is not afraid to assert herself. She is not a fearful person. This is not the point here. 
 
The Greek word for “gentle” means in-wrought grace. This is grace that God works into her life. She humbly recognizes that she is what she is because of what God has done in her life. This humility recognizes it is God who made her, God who changed her. Therefore, she is not the cause of domestic war. She so appreciates what God has done for her that she will take the high road – the road of spiritual maturity. This springs from her relationship to God.
 
A “gentle” woman is a person who orients to the grace of God. This person humbly accepts God’s plan for her life. She appropriates grace. She is one who understands who she is and that she is who she is because of Jesus Christ and what he has done for her. She is not what she is because of what she has done. Jesus has made all the difference in her life. “Gentile” is therefore not self effacement. This is an attitude of humility. Humility orients to the grace of God.
 
PRINCIPLE: God grace will feed the facets of the wife’s soul. 
 
APPLICATION: When God feeds the facets of the wife’s soul her husband will see something in her soul he never saw before. She no longer operates on jealousy. She no longer nags him. She is no longer angry, implacable, spiteful or vindictive. Her life calms down so much that he looks forward to come home. He does not have to stop at the bar on the way home in order to build up immunity to a nagging wife. This is how some men’s clubs begin – they want to escape their wives.
 
This woman does not think of Christianity in superficial terms such as Christianity is morality. It is something beyond that. She no longer thinks in terms of straightening out her husband. This Christianity is far beyond an overt system of morality. She no longer tries to pour her husband into her mold. That is not marriage but slavery. She believes that she cannot change him. Only God can do that. She keeps the apertures of her soul open to God and his Word.
 
Suppose for a moment that a certain woman destroys the inner beauty of her soul. Let us say that she allows jealousy to dominate her thinking. The Word of God is not foremost in her thinking so she sucks jealousy into the vacuum of her mind. This attitude sin turns off her inner beauty. This leads to self pity and produces self induced misery. She then decides to hurt the man she loves by having an affair with another man. Her attitude sin becomes a soul kink. 
 
She puts the soul kink into action. To do this she must violate her conscience, norms and emotions. She does not truly care about the man with whom she has the affair. Her true motive is to hurt her husband. Two wrongs do not make a right. We cannot build our happiness on someone else’s unhappiness. Nevertheless she turns to this intruder. 
 
Just as a thorn may inflect our flesh so her emotional pattern becomes infected and becomes even more vulnerable to other men. She has another affair. By accepting another foreign substance into her person she knocks true emotions out of her soul. 
 
By accepting this foreign norm she will develop emotional scars after her recovery. This will affect her relationship to her husband if they ever get back together. She warps the area where only her husband has the right to be. It started with jealousy and bitterness. It developed into antagonism. She went out and became unfaithful. She became corruptible. She rejects true love by her attitude sins. Her conscience will never resolve by this method of operation. 
 
Women should avoid becoming tramps because it will scar their souls. They should avoid any kind of lascivious activity. It ruins the woman. This is especially true for a woman because of her nature of femininity. Femininity means that woman are finely tuned instruments. It is easier to get out of whack than masculinity. That is why it is important to protect teenage girls, especially early teens, from situations that will score her soul. Keep them from solo dating till later teens. Have them call home at least once while they are on a date.
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1 Peter 3:4b

Published on August 17, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
Read Introduction to 1 Peter

 

“Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

 

with the incorruptible beauty

Some women are very corrupt. I do not mean necessarily that they run around with a half a dozen men, but they fill their minds with anger, hostility, jealousy and bitterness. These things make up an ugly woman – a corrupt beauty.

The woman who has "incorruptible beauty" is the woman with inner beauty. She is faithful to her husband. Neither body nor her soul is available to anyone other than him. Her husband fulfils her. Her inner beauty is incorruptible. Her husband can count on her faithfulness. When the wife puts the Lord Jesus first in her life, she moves into the sphere of the incorruptible. She is faithful to both the Lord and her husband. The more she loves her Lord, the more she loves her husband.

This inner beauty does not fade. No matter how old a woman becomes she can still adorn her inner beauty. It survives the ravages of time. Outer beauty fades with time.

Inner beauty can grow. Fashions may change and physical beauty passes but inner beauty can blossom.

How does a woman develop deep-seated beauty? She does this by developing two categories in the seat of her being – gentle and quiet spirit. We will begin to study this next time.

Principle:

Inner beauty frees women from seeking approval from men.

Application:

The Christian woman who has incorruptible beauty is free from slavery to men. Some women marry lemons and feel sorry for themselves. They always look for approval from men. Her husband just happens to be around. She never instinctively thinks of him. She always seeks approval from him. She always wants him to think of her. She needs constant approval.

This wife always does something to gain his approbation. If she does not get it, she turns to other men. She is vain in her self consciousness. She tries to gain his attention by flirting with other men. Further, if she has lost hope with her husband, she does it simply for the attention of other men. She may spend hours a day in front of a mirror examining herself. When she steps out from the mirror she expects everyone else to admire her.

There is little instinct for true love for her husband. She is always looking looks for compliments: “Your hair looks great. You have nice legs. You look strikingly beautiful today.” Just think of the poor man that married her. She is taken with herself.

A woman with true biblical beauty can change all this. She will begin to look at her husband in a different way. She will respond to him with positive volition. Her inner beauty will change her self-consciousness into other-consciousness. She is no longer that superficial person she once was. No longer is she taken with her own beauty. She shares her beautiful person with others.

 

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1 Peter 3:4

Published on August 16, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
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"Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

 

Verse four tells how a woman wins her husband.
 
Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart,
 
Peter’s interest is not in what the adorning of the Christian wife should be but where it should be. Beauty is in the personality.
But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). 
The word "hidden" is a medical term meaning the most deep-seated aspect of a person. The "hidden person" is the soul or seat of the personality. A woman’s beauty should be in the deepest, most inmost part of her being. The most significant aspect of her beauty is what is inside her. Put priority on making your soul beautiful rather than making your body beautiful.
 
If a woman is to win her husband, whether she is a Christian or not, she does it by inner beauty. The wonderful thing about this is that she can decide to become beautiful inside at any point in her life.
 
The wife has a responsibility to fulfil the husband. The husband has a responsibility to fulfil the wife. This is a cycle – not a vicious cycle. Neither is this going around in circles. It is simply a cycle. Both have responsibilities to each other. At this point we are just looking at the wife’s responsibility to her husband.
 
Principle:
Christian women should develop beauty from within her spiritual being.
Application:
Grace makes a beautiful woman. That which is on the inside will shine on the outside. No amount of make-up or clothing will make up for inner ugliness. Are you hard to get along with? Are you filled with yourself? Are you filled with pride? Are you quick to anger?
Anyone can dress up and look good. A woman who depends exclusively on physical beauty is only half beauty. God wants us to be adorned from within. The Christian woman’s beauty should come from her inner spiritual disposition.
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1 Peter 3:3b

Published on August 15, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
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“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—“
 
 
wearing gold,
 
The second category of female beauty is jewelry. Women generally love jewelry. 
 
“Wearing” means putting around. This woman wears ornaments. She wraps gold ornaments around her writs, around her neck, ankles and ears. This is no condemnation of wearing jewelry. Neither is the Bible saying that women should not braid their hair. The point is a matter of emphasis. Do not place the emphasis on outer beauty but on inner beauty. Jewelry is nothing compared to inner beauty. 
 
Obviously this is not an absolute condemnation of jewelry for look at the next category…
 
or putting on fine apparel—
 
The third category of female pulchritude is clothing. Even since Adam and Eve went into the clothing business the wardrobe has always been a major piece of female beauty. I wonder if her fig leaves were nicer than Adam’s! 
 
Obviously there is no absolute prohibition against wearing jewelry. If we say that is wrong to braid hair or wear jewelry then we have to say that it is wrong to wear clothes!! Obviously this is not the point. Otherwise we would all have to join nudist colonies! This verse does not say that a woman cannot fix her hair or wear jewelry otherwise it would also say that she should not wear clothes!
 
Some Christian women develop a hang up on wearing make-up or jewelry. This is just a manifestation of distortion elsewhere. Having religious hang-ups about this sidetracks the main issue of this passage which is inner beauty. They become hung up on outward prohibitions of this verse but are ugly on the inside. 
 
The point of this verse is a woman can have lovely coiffure, beautiful jewelry and stunning clothes yet her heart is full of bitterness, criticism and selfishness then she is ugly on the inside. She is ugly no matter how beautiful she is on the outside.
 
PRINCIPLE: Women who do not have inner beauty are chaotic to their husbands.
 
APPLICATION: Peter’s point in this passage is to forbid the wife to depend on outward beauty to win her husband. The opposite of cosmos is chaos! Outer beauty will not win the husband. It will help! But this is not the central focus of how to appeal to the husband. 
 
A sloppy woman repels. A woman who does not give attention to her beauty is no biblical value. On the other hand beauty helps but it is not at the core of attraction to a husband who has any sense. A woman may be beautifully dressed, neatly groomed and yet destroy everything by a bad attitude. 
 
Mutual exclusive attention to outer beauty falls short of a truly beautiful woman. It is possible to be the most beautiful woman in the world and never attract your husband. Women totally occupied with outer beauty miss the point. 
 
Some women want everyone occupied with their outer beauty when they go to a party.  She wants people to be enamored with her. She wonders, “Why isn’t everyone enamored with me?” Have you ever noticed that some girls who are less than Miss America get the most wonder guys? Many men are sharp enough to know that physical beauty is not everything. 
 
Beauty is something but not everything.  A man wants beauty on the inside. Physical beauty will only last for a certain period of time. Eventually it will wear off. Her skin will start to wrinkle. Her body gradually will grow old. Even though we grow old physically, we can continually grow beautiful throughout our life-time. Inner beauty never has to worry about growing old. 
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1 Peter 3:3

Published on August 14, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
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“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—“
 
 
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—
 
Peter does not argue against wearing jewelry. His issue is what truly wins an obstinate husband. Inner beauty as over against extrinsic beauty is his answer. Outward beauty and inward beauty are two different values.
 
The word “adornment” comes from the Greek word kosmos. Kosmos means order. Sometimes the New Testament translates this word “world.” Kosmos is a system where order prevails.  We get our English word cosmetics from kosmos. What do cosmetics do? They bring order to the female face!! The opposite to cosmos is chaos!! When a woman first gets up in the morning, things are out of order! Until a woman put on her makeup her face is out of order. She has a disheveled face! She does not have symmetry to her face. When she puts on her makeup she once again has order to her face.
 
Peter’s point here is that a woman does not win her husband by outward order. Outward cosmetics do not win her husband.  It is inward cosmetics that wins the husband. This is inner beauty, a wonderful, feminine woman. The idea is that symmetry of the woman does not come from outer  beauty. If a woman orders herself on the inside she will not fall apart or get upset. She will not throw a tantrum at every crisis. 
 
arranging the hair,
 
Now Peter turns to a list of items that will not make a happy husband. The first is the hairdo. A large part of female beauty is the hair. 
 
The word “arranging” means braiding. Braiding is elaborate gathering of the hair woven into many tiers of knots. Women of the Roman Empire became addicted to ridiculous extravagance with their hair. They would fear even to touch their hair because it took so long to make-up. Many had wigs, often blond. Archeologists found some of these wigs in the catacombs. They made their hairstyles of ivory and gold studded with gems.
 
Women in the Roman world would spend many hours braiding her hair. Sometime they would pile their hair three feet high. Hair that high is hard to carry around all day! They had to constantly keep themselves in balance. At night they had to prop themselves up so as not to disturb their hair. They could not put their head on a pillow. They put fantastic emphasis on outer beauty.
 
Some women feel that the shabbier they look, the more spiritual they are. No, this does not mean that she is spiritual. It means she is a slob! Peter is not arguing for disheveled hair! Vance Havner said, “To be all out for God you don’t have to look all in!!” Obviously women should make themselves as attractive as possible. Some women have more to work with than others but no woman should let herself go.
 
PRINCIPLE: God wants godly women to develop inner cosmetics of the soul.
 
APPLICATION: A woman who is ugly on the inside will never win her husband. She may be Miss American on the outside but she may be Miss Garbage Can on the inside. A biblically beautiful woman is beautiful on the inside. She orders herself on the inside. She does not fall apart. She does not get upset. She does not throw a tantrum every time some little thing happens. 
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1 Peter 3:2b

Published on August 13, 1997 in 1 Peter. 0 Comments
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“When they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.”
 
 
accompanied by fear
 
“Fear” is respect for her husband. Respect carries the idea of distinction. This wife sets her husband aside as unique and special to her. Although he is belligerent to the gospel, she respects him as the leader of her home. She respects him as a man. She respects him as a husband and father. If this husband sees that his wife respects even his right to reject Christ, this will lower the barrier between them and between him and the gospel.
 
“Fear” does not carry the idea of dread of the husband. Ephesians 5: 33 — “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  This Christian wife treats her husband with deference, respect, honor.
 
PRINCIPLE: It is difficult for the non-Christian husband to remain an island to his Christian wife if she steps into his essential need. 
 
APPLICATION: If the wife treats her husband as somebody, if a wife believes in her husband, he is more likely to become a Christian and be the husband he should be.  A wife who downgrades her husband by never agreeing with him, making him appear foolish, sarcastic toward him in public will never gain her husband.  
 
A wife’s indifference toward her husband’s accomplishments or ignores his achievements disrespects him. This will drive him into a shell. He will shut his wife out of his life. 
 
If the wife honors her husband by bringing out the best in him, this will glorify God. No woman gets a ready-made, fully mature husband. She has a responsibility before God to help him become what he can become. 
 
Women who live a positive testimony before their husbands will get their respect even if they do not agree with her beliefs.  These women become more thoughtful, more reasonable than they ever were before. This will have great impact upon non-Christian husbands. 
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