“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
Paul now turns to relationships within families. The Bible shows us how to relate within the family. First, the role of the wife. This is not going to be the greatest day for feminists! There are no loopholes for feminists here. This is not a Swiss cheese day!
A couple riding the car had not spoken for some time. Riding Sunday afternoon in the country side the husband spotted two mules and says, “Some of your relatives?” She was equal to the occasion and said, “Yes, on my husband’s side!!” Sometimes holy wedlock becomes holy deadlock! The biblical answer is for the partners in marriage to function in their roles.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands”
We live in an egalitarian age. The assumptions of this philosophy are so strong that it is difficult for people to think objectively outside this system in our culture. The idea of a wife submitting to her husband is foreign to freedom, democracy and any sense of fairness to our generation.
God does not limit this command to the first century because he states it as a principle without qualification. The idea of submission is not derogatory to our persons because Jesus himself submitted himself to the Father (I Cor. 11:3). It obviously does not mean inferiority but merely relates to the function of role. Also, Paul goes back to the principle of divine institution in creation (I Tim. 2:13).
“Submit” is the same word used to express our duty to government officials (Romans 13:1). “Submission” is an issue of respect (Eph. 5:24,33). Adam was the first in creation and last in transgression (I Tim. 2:13,14). This creation principle is also found in I Cor. 11:3,8,9 where the male is set forth as head of the wife by the will of God. This submission is not to a rigorous tyrant but to her own husband.
The word “submit” was a military term meaning to rank under. In this case the wife is to arrange her life under her husband’s. Other uses outside of the husband-wife relation are found in Luke 2:51; 10:17,20; Romans 8:7, 20; 10:3; 13:1,5; I Cor. 14:34; 15:27,28; 16:16; Ephesians 1:22; 5:24 (the church); Phil. 3:21; Titus 2:5,9; 3:1; Hebrews 2:5; 2:8; I Peter 2:13, 18; 3:22; 5:5.
The word “submit” does not mean to obey but rather to surrender one’s rights or will. The idea of voluntary subordination (e.g. of Jesus to his parents, Luke 2:51). The word does not convey inferiority of personhood. It means to maintain God’s order. It does not connote a misogynist idea of forcing women to make accommodations. This attaches ideas foreign to the meaning of the word and adds more to the meaning of the word than is warranted.
The command “to submit” is based on the positive volition of the wife. Paul is challenging wives to defer to their husbands. The wife is no slave. She is not to be ordered about by her husband. The Bible views her as a partner (Genesis 2:18-23). She is the husband’s complement. They make decisions together.
Role is a matter of position, not person.
In government, authority of role is important for the administration of the country. Even the trinity functions under roles. The Son submits to the Father and the Holy Spirit to the Son.
A woman may have greater IQ or personality. Capacity is not an issue of role. Both male and female hold equal position before God (Gal. 3:28). Role relates to the organization of the family.
A person who exercises their will voluntarily is in a place of power. The wife’s ultimate authority is God. If the husband requests her to do something outside of God’s will for her, she has the biblical right to reject the husband’s request.
She does what she does for the sake of the Lord. She does not submit to avoid a fearful situation such as her husband’s anger, silence or criticism. Nor does she submit to her husband for appearance sake; she does it for the Lord. If he beats her or threatens her life, she obeys a greater command to protect her body. She must leave him under that situation because it is the Lord’s will that she respect her body.