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Read Introduction to 1 Peter

For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.”


being submissive to their own husbands

“Being submissive” comes from two words meaning to arrange and under. God’s design for marriage is that the wife accepts the authority of her husband in the home. The issue again is the authority in the home. Every institution, including marriage, needs organization and governance. God’s design is that the husband is the guardian of his wife’s soul. 


God gives the husband the responsibility of the guardianship of his wife.


Wives who imagine that subjection is a loss of liberty are sadly mistaken. On the other hand, men who want a master-slave relationship and see subjection as a means of enforcing power are sadly mistaken. Some men say, “I’m the head of this house. I demand obedience.” If a husband does not meet his wife’s need, she will not respond to him. If we demand something from nothing, what do we get? Nothing. The aperture of her soul shuts down.

If a man meets his wife’s essential need, he will get something very beautiful. This is the other half of the cycle we talked about earlier. We cannot demand love or response. She will shut down the aperture of positive volition to him. This is also true in sex. Most women who do not respond to their husband sexually also do not respond to him in her volition. Her sexual response is an extension of how he guards her soul. 

Teenage girls should note the man they might marry. When a woman marries, she not only gives a category of her life to her husband, but she gives her life to her husband. If this is the case, she should take care of the kind of man she marries. She should think twice about the man she marries. This person has to meet your needs as a woman. If he does not listen to your needs, if he does not track with you, then you will live in one great vacuum. 

A woman needs companionship. Companionship means that a man can step inside his wife to know her problems and needs. He loves her in the face of her issues. He is careful about her inner person. He knows what makes her tick. A girl who flippantly marries the first bus that comes along may go on a troubling ride. He may not understand her nature. He will not know how to fulfill her relationally. 

Most people do not have enough maturity to choose a marriage partner until they are in their twenties. If people marry before their twenties, it is simply “luck,” or shall we say, the sovereignty of God that their marriage works out. It was not due to their insight into the opposite sex. 

Women need partnership or companionship. They need to feel someone is protecting them. This is far beyond bringing home the bread and providing physical protection. The issue here is psychological protection, emotional protection. The main point is not how handsome he is or even what personality he has. If he is not in tune with you, you are in trouble.