33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Verse 33 is a summary of the essential roles or relationships of husband and wife toward each other. The husband is to love his wife so that she is secure in his love. The wife is to respect her husband so that he knows that she honors him properly.
The word “nevertheless” reminds the Ephesian readers of the most vital elements of this section of the book of Ephesians.
let each one of you in particular
This phrase refers to each individual without exception. Every husband is to love his wife and every wife is to respect her husband. No husband is exempt from this.
so love his own wife
Paul once again picked up the husband’s love for his wife (vv. 25, 28). The husband is to love his wife like Christ loved the church, but here he added the idea of loving her as he loves himself.
The husband is to love his wife as being part and parcel of himself.
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
The word “respects” means to venerate, treat with deference. This is the essential attitude a wife is to have toward her husband.
Biblical roles in marriage support and sustain each other.
There are two different ultimate needs between husband and wife. If a wife tries to meet the needs of her husband by her own needs, then she will fail. If a husband tries to meet the needs of his wife by his own needs, then he will fail. There are two biblically dissimilar needs between male and female, between husband and wife. A husband cannot meet his wife’s need by what he wants out of marriage, and vice versa for the wife.
Women who negate their husbands privately and put them down publically do the very opposite of what this verse commands. Respect is the highest form of the wife’s role in marriage. Husbands who do not cherish their wives but neglect them for their business or some other interest do the very opposite of what meets her fundamental need. Cherishing the wife is the highest form of the husband’s role in marriage.
The relationship between husbands and wives is sacredly related to the relationship between Christ and the church.